Loving Our Children

Loving Our Children – 1

Mrs. Alexandra Kpikpi

Why Love is Important

We need to remember that no matter how gifted we are as a Christian, it does not amount to much if we do not have love.

¹If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ²If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸Love never fails. …

¹³And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

(1 Corinthians 13:1-8 and 13)

Why it is Important to Love our Children

The love we are urged to show in 1 Corinthians 13 is not just for adults! Children are people too! Just as God, our Father, has demonstrated His overflowing love for us, so He wants us to show the same kind of abundant love to our own children. Sadly, very often, we are more concerned with how our children are behaving than about how much we are loving them or how much they feel loved by us. We wish they would listen to us more and do as we say.

But here is a saying that we as parents should all remember: Our children won’t care how much we know until they know how much we care.

In other words, if we want our children to listen to us and follow our example, if we want them to get to know the Saviour who has been so good to us, then we need to make sure – first – that they know that we love them.

Why would you listen to someone if you don’t feel loved by them?

Here are some other very important reasons why we need to be sure our children know that we love them:

When our children know that we love them, they learn that they are lovable. This makes it easier for them to form relationships with other people and it also makes it easier for them to believe that God loves them. When a child (or even an adult) does not feel lovable, then he or she can have a hard time believing that anybody – even God - loves him or her. Such a person will find it difficult to fully trust God or believe His promises.
There is so much that is the opposite of love in the world around us. Our children are going to meet a lot of unkindness in the world. If they don’t have a home where they are absolutely convinced that they are unconditionally loved, then they will feel insecure and this leads to all sorts of problems – such as anxiety, low self-esteem, depression, loneliness, overeating, aggressive behaviour, bullying and stealing.
A child who knows that he is loved behaves better because his ‘emotional tank’ has been filled up and so he has reserves of emotional energy to cope with the trials of a normal day.
A child who knows that she is loved will have a healthy self-esteem. She will have the confidence to attempt things and so is likely to achieve more.
A child who knows he is loved can give love. Some relationship problems we meet later in life stem from our upbringing. We did not learn how to receive love or to give it.
If we don’t show love to our children, in ways that are tangible to them, they will look for love elsewhere and the person our child gravitates towards for love may not be suitable at all.

Next time we will look at how we can help our children know how much we love them.